I was almost 18 years old, when my girl friend told me that she was pregnant. She had also said she had all of the symptoms. I told her to wait a week or two to see if she'd get her menstrual cycle. Her parents heard her vomiting every morning. They took her to the clinic for a pregnancy test. Her parents told her, "If you are pregnant and you don't get the abortion, you can't live in our house anymore."
So as soon as she came back from the clinic, she came to my house with the letter. The letter was stating that she was positive for the pregnancy test. I was shocked ... my jaw dropped... when I read this. I was scared and I had a lot of thinking to do. My girlfriend then told me, "If there is a way that I can get help; I'm not getting an abortion! I'll keep our baby."
My girlfriend looked for help, but they could not give her a place to live. Unless the baby was born. She did find out about welfare, WIC and Medicare...but that wasn't enough, she would have been homeless and pregnant.
We were both scared...had no where to turn to... and we wanted to keep our baby.
Then we thought it would be best to get the abortion. Her parents and I paid half each for this abortion. I wanted to go with her to the clinic...because her parents were taking her.
And ever since that day, it hurts to even think about the abortion. The worst thing about it is the affect on your mind. No matter what you constantly get reminded about it. You think about, "Would it have been a girl or a boy...If the baby was alive...it would be 10 months old....what would it look like?" and "If the baby were alive, what would I be doing right now?"
I think about it every day. I could have been taking my baby to the park, if it were alive. And bought the baby a teddy bear, or even a juice. And even...go to the toy store and buy the baby a toy. It's hard for me to deal with ...especially when you see families together everywhere you go. They all look happy. But it hurts me so much, and I hope no one else will decide to go through with having an abortion.
You have a choice to keep the baby and have a nice place to live while you are pregnant. Having an abortion isn't worth the pain; its for the rest of your life. I only wish I knew about Several Sources when my girlfriend as pregnant.
So...please think about what you are doing to yourself, your body, your mind and your baby. And make the best choice...call for help! Okay?
19 years old ... A Concerned Friend
Dear Young Man,
So you want your girlfriend...or maybe your wife to get an abortion.
Well, so did I a few years ago. We had been married for ONE SHORT MONTH and I was making close to nothing...struggling to survive. She had to work at least for a year or two. And guess what happened? She gets pregnant. Just what we needed! I said, "No way. We can't afford it. And I'm not going to have to depend on my parents."
So I went to the Drug Store. (This was before the time when abortions were so called "legal") And I said to the guy, 'You got to help me.' Well, he gave me some things and I went home and to make a long story short. It didn't work. And nine months later a baby girl was born, Anna Marie.
nd we did have to move in with my parents and then with hers...which lasted for almost three years. My wife did work. A high school friend of hers took care of the baby along with her own child or one of the grandmothers would help out. And we managed.
Seven years later another little girl came along. This time we were financially secure. My wife could stay home from work if she wanted. And how we loved them BOTH ... still do... they are the lights of our life.
Why am I telling you all this?
I guess its because I am hoping and praying that you might learn something from what could have been the WORST mistake I ever made. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life..but at least I never succeeded in aborting my own child. And I thank God every time I think of it.
I'm am older now. A lot older than you. My first born daughter talks about me and my wife retiring and says, "Mom and Dad, you can always come and live with me." She's a good kid. Such a comfort. I can't bear to think of what life would be like without her and her sister. But I have to HONESTLY admit to you even though it hurts me to say so, if that abortion had worked I would have lived a lifetime of regrets. I would have never known one of the central joys of my life.
Yes, it was difficult...but anything worthwhile is difficult. And where your own child ... your own flesh and blood... are concerned when you are considering an abortion... you are considering aborting your future too.
There is an old saying, "What comes around...goes around." I believe that saying is true. God will help you or send help to both of you during this difficult time. Ask Him to. If you are reading this letter you have heard of just one group He has sent to help you. Give them a try. I volunteer for them from time to time and I can tell you from personal experience that they are for real and will help you.
I am praying for you and the mother of your child. I am hoping this letter helps you to avoid the most terrible mistake of your life.
Dear Father of the Baby,
This letter is for all you men who think that aborting your baby is the right thing to do. I also thought like that at one time. I pressured my girlfriend to abort our child. To ease the pain and guilt I was feeling, I told myself that this wasn't a baby yet, it was just some sperm and eggs mixed together and someday this would all turn into a baby. A few years later I realized how wrong I was about this. It really was a human life, and not just some sperm that I helped to abort. The guilt I felt about this was very hard to deal with. At times I felt like I just wanted to end it all. I felt like I had committed a murder.
Finally, in desperation, I went to talk to a priest. He told me that Jesus has forgiven me of what I had done to our baby and I should try to forgive myself. It took a long time for me to forgive myself, even after 20 years, I still find myself thinking about this and wishing it all turned out differently. I know that when I think about it... I am disappointing Jesus. He died for me and for all my sins and I must learn to accept His free will offering of Himself as a gift for what I did wrong.
I'm telling all you men out there who are thinking of doing what I did not to do it. You will live to regret it. The guilt and pain you cause yourself will be very great. If you don't want your child, than give it up for adoption. There is always someone out there who is willing to adopt your baby.
Remember the choice is in your hands. Do the right thing for you and for your baby.
From a Proud Father.
I am a father. I almost wasn't. When I found out my girlfriend was pregnant, I asked her several times to get an abortion. I told her I was not ready to be a father. I also told her,"If you don't get an abortion, I want nothing to do with you and nobody else would want you either because you'll be a single mother with a kid." I even borrowed the money and made an appointment for her to have the abortion.
She said she found an ad in the yellow pages and some Christian people to help her even shelter her. I guess I was looking for the easy way out. I am now ashamed of how I was going to solve this problem. I am very thankful that my girlfriend didn't listen to me and found a different solution. I can't imagine what life would be like if she had listened and I didn't have my son.
Every time I look at him I realize what a mistake it would have been if she had aborted. Now its two years later and we plan on being married next fall.
Signed.... A Proud Father
I don't know you and you don't know me. But maybe we have something in common. When I was just 19, I got my girlfriend pregnant. We were both in College. And so we had been going out for 6 months. But I wasn't ready for a kid. I wasn't ready for marriage. No way! I was too young. I had too much to do. So I thought she had to get an abortion. What kind of life would the kid have anyway? We were too young. No jobs. So I kept talking to her. Eventually she did it, although she gave me some heat. But really neither one of us wanted our parents to know. We'd probably get kicked out of school because they would never again pay our tuition.
So we went to the abortion clinic one Saturday, and I payed for her abortion.
That was it.
Except it didn't stay that way very long.
Oh yea, we broke up.
After a while, I felt too embarrassed to be around her. It was just easier to get another girl friend with out all the baggage.
A few years later, after graduation, I did get married. My wife and I now have 3 kids. I never told her about the girl in College that I got pregnant.
She never had an abortion. She doesn't believe in it...says its wrong.
Every Father's Day, she doesn't know it, but I get emotionally sick inside. God, I wish I could talk to someone about this. I killed my first child. And it brothers me...really bothers me. I'm crying as I write this letter. I never thought I would hurt. I never thought I would care. I never thought I would remember the stupid thing. I just thought I would go on with my life, like any other guy. And now, I have this great wife. She's really a doll. We have two girls and a boy. I really love them all. I work on Wall Street. Make big bucks. Drive a Mercedes. Live in a better neighborhood. But whenever Father's Day comes I have these awful regrets. And yes I cry. More than I would like to admit. My pastor has tried to help me. But I still have these regrets.
So I am writing to you.
Hoping that someone out there will learn something from my mistake. I sure wish someone had taken the time to talk to me, like I am talking to you. Maybe I would have listened. I like to think I would have. I'm hoping this letter will benefit someone. Maybe you.... maybe your kid.
From A Friend who wants to Help